I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
