Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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