big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize