Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
