i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
