direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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