I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
