In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
