you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize