My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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