my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
