I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
