do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize