she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
