i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
