So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
