My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
