nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize