Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
