She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
