I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
