you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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