Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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