you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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