How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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