My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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