We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
