Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
