I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
