Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
