I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize