Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
