you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
