dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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