what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
