So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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