I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
