I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Randomize
