battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
