Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize