I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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