I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You pole danced in your parka.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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