C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
