well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
