she pinky promised me she was 18
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
