My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
The struggles of a small town man whore
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
