You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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