Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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