where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
