i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
me + whiskey = a bad person
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize