Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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