im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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