You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i barfeds in our rink
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Boobs speak an international language.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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