cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
