ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
