girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
