mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
