I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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