im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
