yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
