Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
