so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
