I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize