they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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